That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
