yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
