I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
