so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
