Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have demons in me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
