I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
