omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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