is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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