I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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