Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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