He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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