Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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