i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
