Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
