I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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