I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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