you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
