If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
