She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
