U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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