We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think people are normalizing furries
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
