I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
