If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
