if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
