May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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