I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
