You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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