Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
