We're facebook friends in real life
Umm I'm too high to move.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
