she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
