Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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