We're facebook friends in real life
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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