I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
