Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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