He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
