So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
