Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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