The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
