This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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