we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize