Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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