They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
