I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
