They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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