I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
