hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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