she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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