Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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