if you like me you must not know who I am
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
