that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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