Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
