Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you made out with another girl for some wings
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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