I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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