kristin has been a bad kristin
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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