Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
