Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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