Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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