How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize