I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
