My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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