I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
