dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
