porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
