We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
