I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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