I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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