the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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