It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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